Silly Things Mom's Say

Apparently if the wind changes direction my face will stay this way, well according to my mom that is, on those days when I was bored as a child I would wander around making funny faces and my mommy would utter those famous words to try to scare me into stopping making those faces.

I always thought that it would actually be cool though going through life with a silly expression on my face but sadly the wind never changed and my face stayed normal although there are a few wrinkles in my skin these days.

Children have a habit of doing things that mommy doesn't really like them doing and sometimes mommy will come out with one of those silly sayings that have been passed down through generations of mommy's since time began.

Dinner time in our house was always dramatic especially if it was something that I really did not like eating such as liver or green vegetables.

Mom always had at least one of her silly sayings at the ready because she knew the trouble she would have before the food was even served up.

• Eat your greens, they will put hairs on your chest! (my sister always looked horrified with that one)
• Eat your dinner before it eats you!
• There are children starving in Africa who would love to eat that! (I often thought send it to them because I don't want it)
• Don't eat so fast or your head will explode! (That was when I liked a meal of course)
• You eat so many fries you will turn into one some day! (Again you may deduce that I like French fries)

Well maybe my mom was right in some ways because I grew up with only four tiny hairs on my chest, I still have my head it hasn't exploded yet and I am still human even if I do still eat a lot of fries and I can't even speak French.

Shopping with mommy could be really be boring especially if she met one of her friends in the street and the got to talking, they could be there for hours and all you could do was stand there holding mom's hand watching the world go by.

Mum's could win an Olympic medal for yapping, something about the hind legs off a donkey springs to mind.

After a while of this million miles an hour talking you get really bored and you try to get your mom's attention,"Mom," she ignores you and you try again pulling on her hand,"Mom," again she ignores you and you bring out the big guns, "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy,Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mom mom," you keep up the mantra until she answers and she just says simply "In a minute,".

You give it a minute and try again,"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy,Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mom mom,". Mom is starting to get angry at this point and tells you "Stop it or I will take my hand off your face,".

Now at this point I would stop it and go quiet again, I didn't really mind my mom taking her hand off my face at all, what I did mind was the speed her hand was travelling at when she put her hand onto my face in the first place, That is what frightened me.

Kids can be very cheeky to their mom's, they do and say things to them that they wouldn't dream about doing if dad wasn't in the room with them. Mom's though have their little sayings for all of your little occasions of rudeness and bad behavior.

Stick your tongue out at mommy and you will be met with "If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off,"

You always knew when mom was at her limit with you when she screamed at you "Wait until your dad gets home, then you will be sorry.

Mom was always threatening to wash my mouth out with soap if I didn't stop swearing and I didn't think that she meant it, when she finally snapped one day and carried out her promise I learned a very valuable lesson and never swore in front of my mother ever again.

Mommy's have a habit of asking silly questions that they already know the answer too and leave you speechless.

• Did you just do what I just watched you doing? (no it was someone else)
• Shut the door, were you born in a barn?
• If all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? (sounds like fun to me)
• I can tell when you're lying! So tell me: are you lying? (Erm no)
• Which part of NO don't you understand?
• Should I spank you now or later? (later please mommy, I'm just not in the mood for a spanking just now.
• Are you really trying to annoy me? (yes mom, is it working?)
• Will you please grow up? ( I'm trying mommy, really I am)
• Why are you still doing that? ( Because it's fun)
• Did I bring you up to act like an idiot?

Of course there were two questions my mother asked me every day that I shied away from.

Have you tidied your room yet? a bomb landing in the middle of my room couldn't have made it less of a mess.

Have you finished your homework yet? I was always getting into trouble at school for not doing homework.

When mom is telling you off she often says things which in reality just don't make any sense whatever way you interpret it.

• Shut your mouth and eat.
• When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
• No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them!
• You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
• If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
• Don't run crying to me when you break your legs!
• If I have told you once, I have told you a million times, don't exaggerate!
• If I want your opinion I will tell you it!
• I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!
• Eat what you can and then finish the rest!
• You'll get nothing and like it!
• Don't get smart with me! I made you!
• If you run into a tree, try to do it as slowly as possible
• When you point a finger at someone you are actually pointing three back at yourself.
• If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

No matter what your mom says or does she is the one person that you can rely on in this world for pure unconditional love and support.

Sadly my mom passed away in 1999 but I always remember her with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

We had our ups and our downs but she was always there for me as I was for her and she taught me that life is too short to hold a grudge.

Always listen to your mother, she may not always be right but she has your best interests at heart.

Remember to tell her today that you love her because she may not be here tomorrow,